A little background on me. I was raised in a Baptist home that faithfully went to Baptist church. It wasn't the most conservative of Baptist churches. But it was very fundamental. Most of my family is religious. (I love them very much. Very much. They are good people.) So, this being the case you are taught that homosexuality is wrong. It's ungodly. It's a sin. I didn't hate gays, necessarily. I was just afraid of them, and what I was told they represented.
When I was in college, I worked the overnights at a gas station. I saw so many different types of people... SO many different types of people. One in particular used to come in after he got off work to buy cigarettes. I don't remember his name. But, he would stay and we would talk and hang out and one night he told me he was gay. I didn't judge him. I just talked to him. He wasn't scary at all. He wasn't even. He was just a man. Trying to make a living. Trying to get by. Just like me. Hmmm.
A little fear falling off always feels good.
About that time, I started getting into what would become one of my favorite bands. One of the three members was Dug Pinnick. The band was sometimes billed as a christian band. Except they were different. They were more like guys who happened to be christians that played music too. Never preachy or that aweful fake stuff you hear on the radio. Real and honest. Dug became my hero. When he sang, his whole body sang. When he played, his whole body played. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard (then seen... I have seen this band 11 times in no less than 4 states.The clip below is a live recording from Woodstock in 1994, the break down part at about the six minute mark is particular appropriate for this blog... do yourself a favor and at least fast forward to that. ).
One time when I was in line to get into a club they were playing in Portland, OR, I overheard some people talking about how he came out and said he was gay. I was faced with a dilemma... my hero and favorite musician was gay... what do I do? Do I turn my back on the music I loved and condemn it, or did it really matter? I concluded it didn't matter and I still loved him and the music he made.
After he came out, he did several interviews. Some with christian publications that had once praised the band. He spoke about how "friends" that he had grown to count on, "friends" who called themselves christians, no longer returned his phone calls. It was time when he needed them most. They weren't there. In fact, one so called christian friend actually told him that he prayed to God that Dug would never find love. A christian, commanded to love, telling another that he hoped, nay prayed he would never find love. This was the moment that really changed me. My heart broke for him. He had searched his whole life for love and acceptance and the ones that were supposed to be loving and forgiving weren't either one. How could this be? Christians who claimed to love, couldn't see past a sin... but condemned a man who was just searching for some peace. Some hope. Some love. Some support. It wasn't there. Yes, I know, all christians aren't like that. But many are. If a man cheats on his wife, it is certainly frowned upon, but somehow the attitude is, "Well, at least our brother isn't gay. We just need to forgive him and help him find reconciliation." But, if you say you are gay in most it's, "ABOMINATION!!!" That's so fucked up. It boggles my mind. There is no love in that. NONE. Below is a link to a story I read that demonstrates this point.
NFL Player told to ask God's forgiveness because he congratulated Jason Collins... and if he didn't he wouldn't get the $8500 speaking fee he was going to get to talk about bullying.
NFL Player told to ask God's forgiveness because he congratulated Jason Collins... and if he didn't he wouldn't get the $8500 speaking fee he was going to get to talk about bullying.
A few years later I found myself with more than a few gay friends (or should I say just: Friends). One day in particular, one of my friends asked me to take him to the airport so he could catch a flight to spend the holidays with his family. I happily obliged. On the way he told me about several people he was "talking to" and/or dating. He seemed happy about the prospects. And, I realized that I was happy for him.
One of the people I play with in my band is LGBT. Except for she doesn't really limit herself. She just loves. And I love her. She is family and I will protect her with my full wrath if must (and believe me, you don't want to see that). If I hadn't had the above experiences, I wouldn't have the pleasure and privilege of making and playing music with this wonderful human being. She has taught me much. She says the same of me. She's my friend. She is valued beyond measure.
It's been a journey for me. A good one.
Which brings me back the Jason Collins/Gay vs. Tim Tebow/Christian debate. Why is it that Jason Collins coming out as the first active gay professional american athlete to come out in one of the four big sports important and Tim Tebow being a Christian isn't really a big deal? Here's why... since when in this great country of ours has a person REALLY been persecuted for being a Christian? Oh, the mainstream media marginalizes your beliefs you say? People make fun of you you say? Awwww... poor babies. Guess what? Last time I looked, there were no coliseums with lions awaiting your arrival. Last time I looked you were free to believe and express yourself and your religion in any way you wanted. Last time I looked, no one was keeping you from going and worshiping God. You're free. Free to live. Free to pray. Free to assemble. Free to love anyone you want. You have no restrictions. And neither does Tim Tebow, except that he isn't good enough to play in the NFL. (Below is a link to a story that I read that demonstrates
Jason Collins wasn't (and really still isn't) free. He had to pretend to be someone just to be accepted. He had to pretend so he wouldn't be ridiculed and shunned by his peers. He can't marry who he wants. He is brave because in the face of the Macho world that is professional sports, he said "I can't be who I am not any longer. It may ruin my career, but I will not be ashamed anymore." There is beauty in that. There is strength in that. And, you know what? There is beauty and there is strength in Tim Tebow being who he is. The only difference, is he was completely and LEGALLY free to be that person. Jason Collins was not.
Jason Collins wasn't (and really still isn't) free. He had to pretend to be someone just to be accepted. He had to pretend so he wouldn't be ridiculed and shunned by his peers. He can't marry who he wants. He is brave because in the face of the Macho world that is professional sports, he said "I can't be who I am not any longer. It may ruin my career, but I will not be ashamed anymore." There is beauty in that. There is strength in that. And, you know what? There is beauty and there is strength in Tim Tebow being who he is. The only difference, is he was completely and LEGALLY free to be that person. Jason Collins was not.
At this moment in our country, people are still beaten and sometimes killed because they are gay. Kids commit suicide because they are afraid and confused and don't think anyone will love them because they are gay. What I don't understand is how anyone that believes in Christ and calls themselves a christian can possibly think that's ok? And if they don't, then why do they think the person must change before they can really get love from them and from God. This makes no sense to me. What are you afraid of?
The biggest thing is people say, "who cares, it doesn't matter!" You're right it shouldn't. And one day, God willing, it won't.
If you got this far, thanks for reading.
Music is life,
Albert
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